I've just started a new chapter in life.
I've obtained a new title that nobody wants -

Widower.

My sweet wife Laci, went home to be with the Lord on Aug. 13, 2020, just two weeks before her 35th birthday. As I write this, it's been 6 weeks, but I watched in horror as the cancer consumed her for just over a year. She meant everything to me.

We have 2 small children - a 7 year old daughter and a 4 year old son - which means I have been fielding a lot of questions about death. Can you imagine constantly trying to explain to your young children why they can't take their own lives to go be with their mommy?

It's been hard.
It's incredibly lonely.
I can't imagine a much worse circumstance to make someone choose to be angry at God.

How do I feel?

Closer to God than ever before in my life.

He took my bride to her eternal home - Heaven. If we believe that (like deeply believe that), how then can we question His will? Who am I to think I have any right to be mad at my Creator?

Am I am sad, lonely, and overwhelmed? Yes.
Am I angry though? No.

Why?? How??

God has shown up, over and over again, each time reminding me of the deep love He has for me. I trust in His will and I believe that I will be happy again one day. That I will see my wife again, pain-free and joyous for all of eternity.
I truly believe that, and that is why I'm not angry at God.

If I choose to be consumed by the pain I've felt on Earth, I'm in turn choosing to not trust God.
This planet isn't our hope. If you actually believe that, how can anything cause you to question God and His will? My hope is in Christ. My wife's hope was in Christ. We are children of God Almighty.

Think about this for a second -

God, the Creator of the mighty and vast universe, loves YOU!

He loves you more than you could ever understand. How then, could you not trust Him?

Every time I think about how much I miss her, I remember that she is in Paradise and my pain consistently melts away.
That may sound crazy, but I can deeply trust in God because He deeply cares about our pain.

I've had a lot of pain in my life, but nothing compares to the last year. I watched Laci fight with great faith. I watched her suffer. I watched my precious bride fall apart in front of my very eyes as I desperately tried everything I could to take care of her and save her. I loved her so much and she knew it. She felt cherished everyday and we had a beautiful marriage.

So why did God bring my wife home to Him?
Why didn't He allow us to continue our incredibly blessed marriage?
Why do I have to raise these kids alone?

Honestly, I don't know these answers. I may never know until I get to heaven, but my faith won't be shaken. I miss her tremendously. I am missing companionship, intimacy, and love a lot, but I believe that God (in His timing) will bring those things back to me through another wife some day.

Has your faith been tested? Do you truly trust in God's will?  

I choose to look at life's pain + difficulties like this: God wants to teach me something.

He wants to better prepare my heart to be with Him forever. As my Heavenly Father, He is far more trustworthy than anyone in the entire universe. I would be a fool to ask Him all of my "why" questions. I am a radically changed man in many ways. My life is hard and painful, but my faith is stronger than ever.

I would do anything to change this outcome, but I can't. She is gone.
What am I left with? I'm left with choices. I can either fall apart or I can be a testimony of God's grace and love. I have been given an incredibly rare opportunity to show people that as believers, we mourn differently. I'm able to show people what trusting in God's will looks like when lived out each day. I have friends that are watching me closely to see if I really believe what I say about God. There have been people who came to salvation through my wife getting cancer. Think about that on a deep level - People got saved BECAUSE she got cancer. Human souls will get to be with God for all of eternity, because I lost my wife.

There is always a bigger picture to your trials.

Sometimes, you will not understand the why's, but you can still trust in Him. Why? Because He alone is worthy. Maybe He is preparing you. Maybe He is using you to increase His kingdom. Don't we all pray for the Lord to use us? He used Laci and I to glorify His kingdom and I feel honored.

I will embrace this pain for my God. I will forever trust Him.

I hope this gave a few people the ability to have a different perspective on whatever trials you may be facing.
Trust in Him always. I pray for God to bless all of you who read this.
Amen.

- Mark Massaro

As I begin writing blogposts, my heart behind each one will be to highlight a subject that would help us all through some aspect of life.

This one's post is about anger.

I have far too often been confronted with people with anger issues. Unfortunately, I've watched as it effects every area of their life - relationships between spouses, relationships with children, and often can even cause of dismissal from their place of employment.

The book “Unoffendable” by Brant Hansen has been very enlightening on this subject for my own life as well as for others. The truths Hansen highlights may be against our human nature, but if practiced they become God-honoring and so very beneficial to life and relationships.

I believe there is a huge myth that your anger "is my parents fault” or "it's my nationality" or some other outside influence. If I have heard it once, I’ve heard it a hundred times - “my parents are Italian and my dad was full of anger all the time, so I can’t help it. It’s in my DNA.”
I doubt that most of you recognize this as a myth, and in reality use those excuses to act out your anger.

There's no getting around it. It’s a MYTH.

As a believer, you're a person with the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling inside you. You have the power to choose how you react and behave in each aspect in life - and that includes your anger.

There’s a second myth that’s really popular among Christians - “We have a right to be offended and get angry over certain things.” We throw it under the category of “righteous anger.” I mean, surely there are times we are justified in our anger….

But even that is a myth.

Not only can we choose to be unoffendable.
We should choose to be unoffendable.

As followers of Christ, we should forfeit our right to be offended, laying down our right to hold on to anger. When we do this, we’ll be making a sacrifice that’s very pleasing to God.
What makes this so difficult? It strikes at our very pride. It forces us not only to think about humility, but to actually be humble.

Brant Hanson wrote in his book:
“Forfeiting our right to anger makes us deny ourselves, and makes us others centered. When we start living this way, it changes everything. Actually, it's not even “forfeiting” a right, because the right doesn’t exist. We’re told to forgive, and that means anger has to go, whether we’ve decided our own anger is “righteous” or not."

You and I can make that choice when someone offends you. Choose not to be offended.
First, forgive them in your heart and then I suggest your reaction to be the opposite of anger - love them, say something nice, or compliment them.

Blessings,
Pastor Russ